How to have more friends in your life
It's no secret that social isolation is often a primary cause of people having feelings of depression or anxiety.
Sadly, many of us have been brought up in a culture that sometimes celebrates leaving friends behind in the pursuit of "success"- which many achieve and then wish they could have more friends to share it with!
Some do it on purpose. Some always struggle to make connections. Sometimes, we just seem to wake up in our thirties, all of a sudden realizing we're down to just a couple close friends, if any.
Think outside the box to have more friends
If you want to have more friends, it's not always simple to make happen. But here's a few tips that might help.
- Think about your career. Some jobs and workplaces simply don't lend themselves to socializing or any meaningful opportunity to make friends. This shit is important, and changing careers to have a shot at a real social life is not as crazy as it sounds.
- Be agreeable. You don't want to get pushed around, but in general, people like to be around agreeable people. Stop "standing your ground" or trying to be right in every aspect of life, and people will be more likely to want to spend time with you. The times in life when you really have to stick to your guns are rare, so just smile and shrug "yeah, maybe!" in the meantime.
- Give thought to the media you consume. Consider the impact of being bombarded with images of people being blown to pieces in movies or TV, constantly reading negative headlines in the news or being exposed to toxic bile in the comments section. Try to watch more comedies, stay away from the news and you might start to feel a bit more positive, upping the odds you're going to be someone people want to spend time around.
- Talk to everyone. Yes, it can be annoying at times, but you have to play the odds. When you only talk to the people you have to, the odds of you meeting someone that you might actually end being friends with go way down. Take every opportunity in public and online to engage people in a quick conversation; you never know what common bond might pop up and spark a friendship.
The most important thing to remember
I guess this wouldn't help you to have more friends, but prevention is the best cure. Whatever you do, don't throw away the friendships you already have.
It breaks my heart to see a society dealing with depression, suicide and drug addiction on one hand yet simply shrugging our shoulders at the "inevitability" of losing friends as we age.
The friendships you make at school, work and elsewhere are the most precious thing we can ever have in this life aside from family. Hold on to them, especially when you think about the people who struggle to make friends in the first place. To do so is almost criminal.
Of course it's more difficult to maintain these relationships as we age, but it's no excuse- make it a fucking priority. If you don't want to worry about how to have more friends in your life when you're older, make sure you don't lose the ones you have now!
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