Stop draining your happiness and energy with arguments you can never "win"
At home. At work. Online. In your car! There's no shortage of opportunities for us to get in arguments.
Some are born out of a legitimate desire to correct something or to improve things, but the majority of the time they degenerate into name calling and ego puffing, rarely representing the exchange of ideas an "argument" is supposed to be. How many arguments have you seen or been involved with where one person was actually swayed by what the other was saying? Pretty rare.
They are usually little more than an attempt to find validation and for our own ego; to prove how smart we are or how "right" our way of thinking or living is.
Consider benefits and consequences
An honest and respectful exchange of ideas is at the core of democracy and what makes our society great, but these are rare, and certainly not taking place on FB thread, on a highway or when you're fighting with your boyfriend over what to have for dinner.
Most arguments are simply draining your happiness and energy. We will be faced with times when we must make a stand, but be conservative with how often you actually engage.
Are there consequences for you not arguing? If no, walk away. In the absence of consequence, arguing is little more than ego masturbation. No one is convincing anyone of anything when pride is on the line and emotions are high.
- Let that moron who clearly doesn't know how to drive be "right" and continue on with your day. His ego will swell, further blinding him and setting him up for bigger failure down the road.
- Arguing with a partner, especially if you live with them is normal to a certain degree. But if the same argument is taking place over and over again, get to what's behind it and if you can't, time to walk away for both your sakes. Nobody like those fighting couples anyways!
- You should basically never engage in arguments online. They serve no purpose and aren't even real in the sense people can say things they would never say in front of actual people.
- Arguments at work often end up with the reputation of both people taking a hit. This is for a couple reasons I'll mention below.
The reason you can never "win"
The worst part is that even if you actually manage to "win" an argument- you can actually lose big time in the long run.
Completely crushing someone intellectually is a great way to have them dislike you and create animosity. Very true in a workplace setting and especially bad if you're arguing with friends, family, or your partner all the time.
It's also just a terrible look perception wise- have you ever seen two people really going at who looked like rational, happy people you'd want to spend time with or be working with for years? These arguments, even the less noisy ones, can do serious damage to your reputation.
So keep in mind that arguments can really drain your happiness and energy, can damage your reputation, and can't be "won" anyways in most cases.
Pick your spots!
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